12.16.2013

Road Kill...Oh La La

If you haven't already figured this out about us,
we are not like regular girls when it comes to dead animals.
 
we like them.
we play with them.
& its not weird.
 
though some may find that debatable.
 
We look at these creatures as presents.
& we are not grossed out.
 
BUT THE PEOPLE WE ASSOCIATE WITH DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS CONCEPT NO MATTER HOW MANY DEAD THINGS WE FIND.
 
One evening,
we are all sitting around in our living room when someone rings the doorbell.
Excitedly we got up expecting company.
No one was there,
Classic Ding-Dong Ditch Maneuver.
 
We close the door.
& it happened again...
This time we were quicker,
but not quick enough.
 
We observed the premises, no one. 
then we noticed a plastic bag on our little ghetto step.
Yay!!
A PRESENT!!!!!!
 
the bag was ripped open by the both of us & to our pleasant surprise
there was a duck.
It smelt like it had died about 4 years prior to it ending up on our doorstep.
The stank was nauseating.
There was a gapping hole where its stomach should have been & there was only a small tendon holding its head onto the rest of its body.
Not the most handsome thing we had every seen,
we still liked him though.
 
We thought it would be fun to show him to people because we were tried from all our tedious studies.
Thus,
the adventure began with our duck in our hands.
We showed it to our entire apartment complex & the next one after that.
Knocking on windows.
Leaving it on others doorsteps.
Walking into houses & saying,
"Dinner is Served'
The whole ordeal was hilarious!!
to us, at least.
Everyone else was upset because we made their apartments smell like crusty old gym socks.
We had been with the duck so long the stench no longer fried our nose hairs,
so we didn't mind it.
 
We got to the boys apartment who left it on our doorstep,
we think they were expecting us to be fired-up & repulsed.
When they opened the door to see us holding it with huge smiles they were confused & most likely a little freaked out.
 
They really had no clue how to react to us,
so they slowly closed the door & we continued on our merry way.
 
We found the kid who killed the duck.
He felt bad.
He didn't want to get into the painful details.
We think he hit it in his car.
 
After about an hour of showing people we gave it to our neighbor for his birthday.
You're Welcome.
 
He probably threw it away.
its a shame,
only some people in this world can appreciate the gift of such entertainment.
 
We are individualists, we do what we want.
 
PS..
We did wash our hands after.
in case you were wondering....
some thought we didn't which is gross,
we touch dead things...that doesn't mean we lack hygienic skills.
geeeeeze.
 
PSS..
It was also National Best Friend Day.
Go Figure.

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