Mount Everest.

Probably not the best title for the story about to be told.

We extend our sincere apologizes.

 

Late on a Wednesday night,

December 4th to be exact,

at approximately 7:45...

 

We were visiting with Milvertha's Boyfriend downstairs,

when we heard the toilet flush

not thinking anything of it because its not anything out of the ordinary...

after a few short seconds we hear a blood curdling scream come from the bathroom.

Followed by,

"Vera!!! Ethel!!! HELP ME!!!!!"

 

We figure its nothing too bad because the nature of our apartment is that we like to over dramatize things to make them more interesting,

So, 

We lugged our way up the staircase.

moaning & groaning...

"WhAAaat Doo YOu NEeeEEdD?!?"

 

 Once we reached the top of the stairs we see Milvertha on the tub side holding all the toilet paper & the rug.

"The toilet is overflowing!!!"

She said is a harsh whisper,

so that her boyfriend wouldn't hear from downstairs.

(He obviously heard because he burst into loud laughter)

 

Vera peered into the scene of the incident & like clock-work she began to dry heave at the off colored water soaking into the floor with floating particles in it as well.

 

Ethel Ray proceeded to take off her socks, rolled up her sweats & waded her way into the unknown territory

& began to do the dirty work

with a plunger in hand.

 

Milvertha was still clinging on for dear life on the edge of the tub.

scared to take that leap to safety,

Vera was still over the sink dry heaving, still trying to be helpful.

 

Ethel Ray gave them duties,

Telling them to each get towels & start soaking up the pee water.

They got the towels but that was about as far as they went.

 

 

 

We were all in a time crunch,

we had about 45 minutes till we had to be ready for a performance, Veramitch had a date 

& Ethel Ray was still feet deep in contaminated toilet water.

 

Plunging at double time,

the toilet finally regained some sense of normalcy but was still a little sketchy.

It was dubbed "Good Enough"

& there was still soaking up the spill to do.

After 4 towels or more the water was entirely gone but the smell was without a doubt still there.

 

Ethel Ray made her way downstairs where Milvertha's boyfriend was still there laughing at the event that just took place & the fact that Ethel was drenched with pee & sweat.

She made her way into the kitchen where she sat in the sink to decontaminate her feet.

She was almost done when she heard a dripping sound coming from above.

 

Confusedly she looked up to see that the light fixture above her head was filled with off colored pee water from the toilet above.

She began to sob just a little bit causing Vera to come in & view the dilemma.

Ethel only looked up & Vera fell to the ground.

 

Water is not supposed to go through electrical circuits. 

 

Vera decided to take this matter into her own hands.

It would be easy to take the light down & get the unidentified liquid out of it.

She began un-screwing the light fixture,

after 2 screws she thought she was done but there were really 4.

 

Her arms were so tired & there was only room for one person no matter how hard we tried to help.

She would fly solo on this one.

 

Ethel grabbed a bucket to catch the dripping water.

Vera was trying to rest,

when her hand slipped & the water came crashing down on her head then proceeded all down the front of her.

 

Her initial attempt to not smell like wretched butthole had worked but karma is the darnedest thing.

This is where Milvertha's boyfriend, the man of the house,

finally stepped in.

 

He finished taking apart the light fixture & got everything in decent order,

then sent us 2 skunks upstairs to get ready for the evening.

All this time there was no sign of Milvertha...

The seemingly only cause for this incident at the time.

(For the record we still don't know if it was all her or a combination of everyone)

 

 We got ready & made it to our obligations in time smelling as normal as we could.

 

We called the maintenance guys & simply said,

"our toilet exploded"

they came & fixed it the next morning,

but that eternal stank didn't leave for another 4 days.

 

Things like this are hilarious,

after they happen,

not during.

 

We are individualists, we do what we want.