Les Miserables

Over the summer we were what we liked to call,

"barricaders".

It was a fun thing to do.

 

Whenever we wanted something or felt endangered

we would take the things around us & make a fort within minutes.

 

We were usually in wilderness type areas when this urge happened,

for example,

paintballing in the woods...

on a hike...

summer camps...

 

our point is made.

 

We had done this so many times in the outside world,

it was natural for us.

but we had never experienced it in the comfort of our own home.

 

One afternoon,

returning from a day of classes on campus,

we walked into our home where an aroma filled the air that was quite pleasant.

Not thoroughly thinking about the action to take in order to obtain the item making our home smell so delicious.

 

We dropped our bags & began to barricade the entrance to the kitchen.

singing the catchy tune,

"Do you hear the people sing?? Singing the song of hungry men!!"

 

{Hungry replacing the word, angry.}

 

We had to improvise.

instead of tree branches & rocks,

we had to resort to couches & tables.

 

It was going so smoothly until a loud thump happened.

we sat down where we were & dared not to look.

The couch on its way into a vertical position had hit a wall & may or may not have put a fist size hole in it.

 

We tried to cover it up with a fire extinguisher,

a nice picture,

but it was only about a foot & a half up from the ground.

So putting anything there as decoration would be silly & highly noticeable.

 

So we put everything back where it originally was.

This whole time no one had come from the kitchen to see what was going on.

we thought that it was strange & a little out of the ordinary.

 

So we poked our heads around the wall to see that no one was in there.

We tried to capture nothing.

It was a low moment for us,

seeing as we were going to barricade what we were trying to obtain this entire time.

 

At that moment someone came down the stairs,

"Hey! You guys are home! Want a cookie?? They are fresh out of the oven too, so you lucked out!"

 

With sheepish grins on our faces & slight panting we said,

 "duh".

& waltzed into the kitchen & had a cookie.

 

Moral of this story:

Barricades are fun,

but can be extremely unnecessary when you have wonderful roommates.

Also,

When someone finally notices the hole in the wall a few weeks later,

use the trashiness/oldness of your house to your advantage.

"oh, you never noticed that? its been there since we moved in."

 

works like a charm.

 

We are individualists, we do what we want.



Blast from the Past.

The adorable factor never leaves from us.

 

We are absolutely precious.

 

Too bad we didn't like each other at this time...

so this is one of the only pictures that exists of us together as youngsters...

oh well.

 

Either way we are rockin' the

lady bowl cuts.

 

We are individualists, we do what we want.

On A Night Just Like Tonight...

Exactly

one year ago today...

We kidnapped a Savage.

 

(That's one of our best friend's last name...don't think we are cruel.)

 

 

This time of year marks the legendary

Fairy Ball

That is put on by his family.

Now,

this shin-dig is the real deal.

They go full out with a 5-course meal,

formal dresses,

hair done all fancy,

they even have a ballroom...

in their house...

where they dance the night away.

 

Well last year,

We, Vera & Ethel, were...

quote, un-quote,

"invited"

Lets be honest...

We snuck in.

 

We had good reason.

Our dear friend had just had his wisdom teeth removed & was in need of company whilst his family was mingling with one another.

So,

While dinner was being served,

we ever-so stealthily snuck in through a side door & shimmied our way up the stairs & into his bedroom.

 Dressed for the occasion of course.

 

We were equipped with the gear needed.

Ice packs,

gauze,

blankets,

& most importantly...

Walter the Farting Dog.

The only book that should be read to those in wisdom teeth pain,

its hilarious

 especially in that state of mind

for both reader & wisdom teeth victim.

 

We sat on the edge of the bed

while he rambled away carelessly,

eyes rolled back in his head,

with slight dribble hanging from the corner of his mouth.

 

Not having a clue as to what the kid was saying we simply nodded

& laughed with him as he kept cracking himself up.

He eventually said something,

he looked at us

seemingly waiting for approval,

not knowing what he said,

 we nodded

 & thought nothing of it.

 

Next thing we know he is up & ready for action.

He put on a coat & there was no stopping him.

He was obviously tried of sitting around.

He began crawling to the door,

which lead down the stairs,

& out the door.

 

There was no stopping the kid,

he was on a mission.

 

We strategically got him fastened into good old Monty.

(Vera's Ghetto Car)

& drove away.

It seemed all too simple,

this whole kidnapping a drugged up person.

 

surprisingly enough no one saw us come or go.

they didn't even hear us.

which is odd...

we are as loud as a marching band at 5 in the morning going up & down the street for hours. 

...

We honestly cant remember what came of that night but it was an adventure to say the least.

& no one knew he went missing which is the funniest part.

 

He was back in one piece,

physically,

but he was definitely missing his piece of mind

& apparently,

so were we.

 

He is fine now so don't worry.

 

We, along with he, are individualists, we do what we want.

 

 

Even if we don't know at the time what we are doing.

Kidnapping is never a good thing.

Don't do it.

Stay in school.

Rituals.

With all the hustle & bustle of college,

everyone is in need of some

R&R.

Ours is ritually every Thursday night.

 

That is our only free time.

 

Monday:

 No one wants to do anything because the week has just started,

not to mention Family Home Evening is something that cannot be put aside.

 

Tuesday:

We are busy trying to do the things we should have done on Monday,

& start Tuesday duties.

 

Wednesday:

 Doing all the rest of the homework & assignments into Thursday so that we can be out late Country Swing Dancing the night away into the early hours of the morning.

 

Thursday:

Day to Relax from the night before,

because thanks to Wednesday & swing dance motivation we have no homework that has to be done.

 

Friday:

During the day you do all the homework for the weekend & then continue to party the rest of the weekend.

 

Repeat Until Semester Ends.

It is a full proof system.

 

 

On Thursday nights we harness our inner elderly folk within our souls,

bring them out for all to see.

 

This little gathering of some of our close friends is what we like to call,

"Knitting & Netflix"

Originally it was held in the comfort of Ethel Ray's bed.

With some apparent complications with the

RATCHET WIFI

...

We reconvened in the campus library.

3rd floor.

Far, Far, North-West corner on some sofas that no one knows about.

Dressed as to not Impress.

Bringing:
 Pillows,

Blankets,

Head Phones,

Knitting Basket,

Footie Jammas,

& Slippers.
 

We waltz through the doors, passing people studying...

who studies in a library?!

not us.

 

We set up camp.

its practically a science now.

Plug in our laptops & watch our TV show...

more likely than not,
 it's "Baby Daddy"

 

Knitting begins because we have a booming beanie business.

You pay for one,
we make it.

Again...We are entrepreneurs.

So really this late night session of absolute nothingness is beneficial to everyone.
You're Welcome.

Only a couple students pass by,
they nod & give us a thumbs up.
Its a good comedic relief for all the blood-shot eyed students.

Again...
Very Beneficial.

We laugh & knit the night away.
Then go to bed.

We are individualists, we do what we want.



Mount Everest.

Probably not the best title for the story about to be told.

We extend our sincere apologizes.

 

Late on a Wednesday night,

December 4th to be exact,

at approximately 7:45...

 

We were visiting with Milvertha's Boyfriend downstairs,

when we heard the toilet flush

not thinking anything of it because its not anything out of the ordinary...

after a few short seconds we hear a blood curdling scream come from the bathroom.

Followed by,

"Vera!!! Ethel!!! HELP ME!!!!!"

 

We figure its nothing too bad because the nature of our apartment is that we like to over dramatize things to make them more interesting,

So, 

We lugged our way up the staircase.

moaning & groaning...

"WhAAaat Doo YOu NEeeEEdD?!?"

 

 Once we reached the top of the stairs we see Milvertha on the tub side holding all the toilet paper & the rug.

"The toilet is overflowing!!!"

She said is a harsh whisper,

so that her boyfriend wouldn't hear from downstairs.

(He obviously heard because he burst into loud laughter)

 

Vera peered into the scene of the incident & like clock-work she began to dry heave at the off colored water soaking into the floor with floating particles in it as well.

 

Ethel Ray proceeded to take off her socks, rolled up her sweats & waded her way into the unknown territory

& began to do the dirty work

with a plunger in hand.

 

Milvertha was still clinging on for dear life on the edge of the tub.

scared to take that leap to safety,

Vera was still over the sink dry heaving, still trying to be helpful.

 

Ethel Ray gave them duties,

Telling them to each get towels & start soaking up the pee water.

They got the towels but that was about as far as they went.

 

 

 

We were all in a time crunch,

we had about 45 minutes till we had to be ready for a performance, Veramitch had a date 

& Ethel Ray was still feet deep in contaminated toilet water.

 

Plunging at double time,

the toilet finally regained some sense of normalcy but was still a little sketchy.

It was dubbed "Good Enough"

& there was still soaking up the spill to do.

After 4 towels or more the water was entirely gone but the smell was without a doubt still there.

 

Ethel Ray made her way downstairs where Milvertha's boyfriend was still there laughing at the event that just took place & the fact that Ethel was drenched with pee & sweat.

She made her way into the kitchen where she sat in the sink to decontaminate her feet.

She was almost done when she heard a dripping sound coming from above.

 

Confusedly she looked up to see that the light fixture above her head was filled with off colored pee water from the toilet above.

She began to sob just a little bit causing Vera to come in & view the dilemma.

Ethel only looked up & Vera fell to the ground.

 

Water is not supposed to go through electrical circuits. 

 

Vera decided to take this matter into her own hands.

It would be easy to take the light down & get the unidentified liquid out of it.

She began un-screwing the light fixture,

after 2 screws she thought she was done but there were really 4.

 

Her arms were so tired & there was only room for one person no matter how hard we tried to help.

She would fly solo on this one.

 

Ethel grabbed a bucket to catch the dripping water.

Vera was trying to rest,

when her hand slipped & the water came crashing down on her head then proceeded all down the front of her.

 

Her initial attempt to not smell like wretched butthole had worked but karma is the darnedest thing.

This is where Milvertha's boyfriend, the man of the house,

finally stepped in.

 

He finished taking apart the light fixture & got everything in decent order,

then sent us 2 skunks upstairs to get ready for the evening.

All this time there was no sign of Milvertha...

The seemingly only cause for this incident at the time.

(For the record we still don't know if it was all her or a combination of everyone)

 

 We got ready & made it to our obligations in time smelling as normal as we could.

 

We called the maintenance guys & simply said,

"our toilet exploded"

they came & fixed it the next morning,

but that eternal stank didn't leave for another 4 days.

 

Things like this are hilarious,

after they happen,

not during.

 

We are individualists, we do what we want.

Road Kill...Oh La La

If you haven't already figured this out about us,

we are not like regular girls when it comes to dead animals.

 

we like them.

we play with them.

& its not weird.

 

though some may find that debatable.

 

We look at these creatures as presents.

& we are not grossed out.

 

BUT THE PEOPLE WE ASSOCIATE WITH DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS CONCEPT NO MATTER HOW MANY DEAD THINGS WE FIND.

 

One evening,

we are all sitting around in our living room when someone rings the doorbell.

Excitedly we got up expecting company.

No one was there,

Classic Ding-Dong Ditch Maneuver.

 

We close the door.

& it happened again...

This time we were quicker,

but not quick enough.

 

We observed the premises, no one. 

then we noticed a plastic bag on our little ghetto step.

Yay!!

A PRESENT!!!!!!

 

the bag was ripped open by the both of us & to our pleasant surprise

there was a duck.

It smelt like it had died about 4 years prior to it ending up on our doorstep.

The stank was nauseating.

There was a gapping hole where its stomach should have been & there was only a small tendon holding its head onto the rest of its body.

Not the most handsome thing we had every seen,

we still liked him though.

 

We thought it would be fun to show him to people because we were tried from all our tedious studies.

Thus,

the adventure began with our duck in our hands.

We showed it to our entire apartment complex & the next one after that.

Knocking on windows.

Leaving it on others doorsteps.

Walking into houses & saying,

"Dinner is Served'

The whole ordeal was hilarious!!

to us, at least.

Everyone else was upset because we made their apartments smell like crusty old gym socks.

We had been with the duck so long the stench no longer fried our nose hairs,

so we didn't mind it.

 

We got to the boys apartment who left it on our doorstep,

we think they were expecting us to be fired-up & repulsed.

When they opened the door to see us holding it with huge smiles they were confused & most likely a little freaked out.

 

They really had no clue how to react to us,

so they slowly closed the door & we continued on our merry way.

 

We found the kid who killed the duck.

He felt bad.

He didn't want to get into the painful details.

We think he hit it in his car.

 

After about an hour of showing people we gave it to our neighbor for his birthday.

You're Welcome.

 

He probably threw it away.

its a shame,

only some people in this world can appreciate the gift of such entertainment.

 

We are individualists, we do what we want.

 

PS..

We did wash our hands after.

in case you were wondering....

some thought we didn't which is gross,

we touch dead things...that doesn't mean we lack hygienic skills.

geeeeeze.

 

PSS..

It was also National Best Friend Day.

Go Figure.

Halloweenie

Happy Halloweenie.

 

 

We got the Boo's.

 

We are individualists, we do what we want.

 



Hunting Season >>>----->

It's that time of the year for all the hunts to start.

You name it,

people will be hunting it.

 

We are fond of this season ,

but,

while the majority of people are out hunting

deer,

elk,

bears,

moose,

ducks & geese,

We are hunting a more lively animal...

 

The Chicken.

 

Which is much harder to catch due to the swiftness & endurance these creatures have.

You have to harness all of your energy.

Be as quiet as a mouse.

Willing to take a plunge into all sorts of filth.

Crazy enough to keep doing it.

 

We are all of those things & more.

 

The time came for us to drive to Willard.

A small town.

Where we were allowed to hunt these chickens.

they said they would give us cross-bows,

but they soon came to their senses.

 

We were using our bare hands & a machete.

Hollah.

 

Vera caught sight of a chicken.

Began to chase it madly about the yard.

Cornering it,

hissing & growling at it as well.

The key here is intimidation.

 

Ethel Ray came around to grab it but the blasted thing escaped.

We ran after it again,

being the obvious entertainment for the viewers around us.

Vera had her eyes on the prize

& was not going to let that chicken win.

 

That chicken was going to die. 

 

Ethel Ray found joy in taking pictures with the other animals,

because her attention span is slim to none.

This is the product of what happens when Vera is left to catch things all on her own.

 

 While this was taking place Vera caught the chicken & sent it to the sacrifice log.

 

 

 

Where we cut off its head...

& Vera obviously held it...

& it winked at her.

Our hunting experiences are not the most usual,

but they are a lot more eventful & quicker than most.

Don't hate.

 

We are individualists, we do what we want.

Back on the scene.

You all might recall that we do hair.

& we do a pretty sub-par job at the whole cutting part,

but we have found our new line of hair care...

 

Dying it.

in style no less.

 

We have had very successful run~ins with this technique,

because there is not a single way

that you could mess it up.

 

You put it on top & rub it in.

a child could do it.

 

So,

point is,

if you don't want your hair cut by us,

we can dye it for you!

 

as long as it is one color,

& you mix up the bottle.

 

The results are breathe taking.

 

#nofilter

 

Bye.

 

We are individualists, we do what we want.



Just Walking Home.

FYI:

The following events happened in approximately a 6-7 minute time frame.

 

Right after Institute on a fine Monday afternoon.

Veramitch & Ethel Ray headed home from a day of school.

Not expecting much they began to talk about random seemingly silly things.

after about 30 yards of walking & talking,

they approached the crosswalk where an acquaintance,

 

Acquaintance used far to heavily in this case.

We hardly knew this kid,

met him once,

in passing.

 

Was crossing the street the opposite way of us.

In the minds of us,

this is the perfect opportunity for what we like to call,

"Stranger Rodeo"

 

You simply pick a person at random,

jump on their back,

& ride them for as long as you can.

(10-15 seconds is desired)

 

Veramitch stops in mid-sentence, as well as mid-intersection,

drops her backpack on the pavement & begins to ride this kid.

While this is happening,

Ethel Ray is gathering up the belongings of Vera,

& people are witnessing this event with wide eyes & fancy footwork trying to avoid the fierce moving limbs. 

The light turned yellow & the rodeo was still in progress only 4 seconds had gone by,

Vera accepted that as a progression point & we continued on our way.

While the poor boy was still in shock.

 

Not sure how to handle what had just happened,

we began looking at the scenery.

At that instant we beheld an elderly man on a mo-ped,

slowly synching his way up the hill with the putt-putt of the small motor.

His helmet was bouncing all over his head 

& his face was less than amused as he passed us with glazed over eyes & a hunched back.

 

The sight wouldn't have been as funny if it hadn't have been for the brief rodeo that took place just before.

It caused us such joy that we collapsed to the ground & began laughing uncontrollably,

rolling on the ground,

without a care in the world.

 

That is until the rolling got out of hand.

Vera rolled a little to close to the street & the only thing that stopped her was that her hand touched something cold & furry.

 

She screamed,

causing both of us to panic.

What could have gone wrong?

 

We both got up & looked where Vera's hand was,

& there on the side of the road was a

Dead Rabbit.

 

We got up fast & starred at it with amazement.

How could no one have noticed this cute little guy??

 

Without hesitation,

we picked it up,

took pictures with it 

& showed the people walking to campus.

 

 Mostly everyone seemed to be appalled,

Some people stopped to take their picture with us,

Others wanted to touch it.

 

We had been there for probably 2 minutes when our favorite customer came.

He was sporting some very high fashion,

bleached hair,

stylish earrings,

& a new iphone.

 

He saw us holding the rabbit & yelped a very high pitched girlish squeal.

"Did Alcatraz do this?!?"

We looked at each other...

"uh....no...?"

 

He could tell we were confused.

That didn't stop him from creating a small documentary featuring us & the dead rabbit on his phone.

 

He was filming in "selfie" mode.

He began,

"Here I am at the scene of the crime, with my two witnesses."

 

**Camera on us**

"Hello."

 

**Camera back on him**

"We don't know what horrible person would do such a thing to a poor innocent animal but we will find out!! Do you have any idea who this could have been??"

 

**Camera on us**

"We just wanted to touch it."

 

**Camera back on him**

"A funeral is in order, cross the street with me to the wilderness!!"

 

Needless to say we found a small shrub,

put him under it with a paper plate & some leaves.

Sang a song & sent him off to heaven.

 

He then left & we never saw him again.

We will forever be on that man's phone.

 

Lucky Him.

 

We continued home & took a nap from that chaotic 6-7 minutes.

 

We are individualist, we do what we want.

 

(That ended extremely quick...but we had nothing else to say.)



Fast Friends.

Ever heard of team building??

 

It puts you & other people to the test to see if they are truly trustworthy.

like you build an alliance with them.

 

We are firm believers in the power that these activities hold.

whether it be through conversation,

silence,

or by stacking on top of each other in an orderly fashion.

 

This is what we like to call,

"The Zipper"

 

This exercise focuses on a strong base.

equality amongst each person.

& undying trust that the person beneath you will not crumble.

 

I'd say that this is a good,

well-rounded activity.

 

That is until someone lets loose.

 

Now,

we will not point fingers or have any name calling.

for what is about to be told is sacred & should probably not even be put on this blog.

 

but the secret is out...

 

Girls Fart.

 

& in this scenario,

that was the weakest link.

 

You see when the pressure builds up inside,

one cannot simply hold it in no matter how hard they try.

You could argue with us on that,

but you already know that you lost.

 

Anyway.

As we were stacking on top of one another the feeling started to arise.

While the last person was trying to get on top creating a 5 person stack,

The person could no longer contain it,

 

The explosion happened on the foundations head,

crop dusted another in the face,

& then the culprit proceeded to turn as red as a Scottish tomato,

realizing what had just occurred.

 

The person trying to get on top immediately retreated

trying to carry the people off in order to revive the remaining links.

but it was no use.

the tower collapsed & the fact remained.

 

someone had just gassed it.

& there was no doubt who it was.

 

Nothing could be said to stop the already prominent scarring of their emotional & mental state.

So, the pile dispersed without a single word,

only a few coughs & snickers,

but we left that mangled pile of people with

just a simple acknowledgment that it really did cause the tower to fall..

  

 A friendship was built

that is all that is to be said about this encounter.

& aren't we grateful.

 

Picture of that exact moment.

Please Proceed With No Judgment:

 

 

We are individualist, we do what we want.

 

When we want.



Family Time.

When you are up at college.

All on your own.

with no family because they kicked you out of the nest,
To "spread your wings & find who you are"

you resort to finding a new family to support you in all that life brings.

 

Especially the role of meeting the parents on that first date.

 

So without further adieu.

Here is the family.

 Our dear sweet Grandma's

 

Our pets...one is the trusty companion of our Uncle from Saudi Arabia...the other one is a sheep.

At least we think it is.

 

This is our child that doesn't look like us.

possibly adopted.
With cute Wifey Wanda peeking in.



This is our uncle from Saudi Arabia.

 

Big Papa.

AKA: Tim.

Short for intimidation.

 

& last but not least.

The Wifey's.

Norma & Wanda.

They are beauties.

 

So,

With every date that happens,

this is what happens.

 

Usually resulting in no more than that initial first date.

but hey,

if they don't like it,

 they don't got to come back.

 

Like us for who we are,

which is

Individualists.

 

We do what we want.

 



Entrepreneurs>

so.

to sum things up,

we have become a sensation,

a flirting sensation actually.

 

.:Said as humbly as possible:.

 

People have been coming to us,

through very little begging,

to hear the words, advice & theories that we have about the dating/flirting world.

 

It has escalated to the point that we are currently booked for the rest of this year into March.

If you are interested in some

 

HIGH QUALITY.

HANDS ON.

TOTALLY & EXTREMELY RELIABLE.

sorta... 

FREE FIRST TIME VISIT.

 with only 10 simple steps!

 

You know where to find us.

 

 

 So.. Hollah Attcha Girlz!
 

We are individualist, we do what we want.  



Situations..

We were given a lot of responsibilities in our apartment.

One of which was to be in charge of Family Home Evening for the first little bit.

 

All we have to say for this is well...

 

Vera had fun.

 

an epic whipped cream fight for one.

Awkward for all the rest.

 

You go Vera.

 

Ethel had an encounter as well...

here is the first episode of

"College Cravings"

 

A whole package of hotdogs.

no buns.

& Mountain Dew.

 

No Shame.

 

We are individualist, we do what we want.



Purple Snot.

One thing that never changes about college is that something crazy & ridiculous will bring all types of people together.

 

The Chalk Dance.

This is a iconic landmark in the college year

because it is usually the first dance,

sure the institute puts on a little shin-dig but in all honesty, we usually only go for the food.

Dances put on by the school are just a little more fun.

 

This year was insane.

White shirts all around.

Bags of chalk ready for throwing.

We were dancing like crazy people.

 

When the chalk was thrown no one could be seen.

No one could breathe.

Everything was quite literally a blur.

 

Now,

other than that nothing really happened at the dance.

But what followed was hilarious.

 

We got home all at different times.

separation happens when everyone looks like a smurf.

if you didn't already know that...

We had to shower but pictures had to be taken first,

because apparently moments like this need to be documented.

 

 

We did not realize that the longer this chalk was on you the worse it stained you skin & hair.

We thought it was the same chalk used at the chalk festival,

it was definitely not.

it was a cheap knock-off brand that lasts for days.

 

We were just about to find this little fact out for ourselves though.

 

After pictures were taken & chatting had stopped we all went on our merry way to showering.

All 6 girls in our apartment went to this dance & after 2 had showered all the hot water was gone & they were still purple.

 

This caused a problem because 4 of us were still letting the chalk sit on our skin.

This made us resort to showering at the neighbors.

The boys in that apartment were kind enough to let us in.

To use less water we thought it would be best if a "team shower" would take place.

So, we hoped into the shower fully clothed.

& began washing off our selves & each other.

 

After about 15 minutes there was no hope.

No matter how much body wash & scrubbing we did we were permanently stained.

 We walked down the stairs dripping multi-colored water,

looking like Ursula herself,

with all the boys sitting on the couch laughing hysterically at the sight we were.

 

We went home & there was no improvement for them either.

 

After another 3 hours there was finally some normal coloring coming back to our faces.

that was all we needed though right,

normal face color??

because you can cover the rest of your body with clothes,

even though its early September...

winter preparation is always in need,

especially in Utah.

 

We tried to continue in the late hours of the night,

but exhaustion had taken its course on our bodies...

One last wash in the sinks & we were off to bed.

 

The next morning everyone still had purple  necks, hands & armpits.

But the hair was fine other than Ethel Ray, who originally had blonde hair but now was styling a new shade of blueish-purple with a hit of green.

 

We all embraced it.

& so did the rest of the school.

 

Lets just say you could tell who liked to have fun & who didn't due to the color of their hair & skin.
Also by how much they were wearing.

 

We are individualist, we do what we want.