Welp.
We have experienced something new & exciting.
Yet terrifying to say the least.
We have dabbled in the waters of death.
{No pun intended.}
Take a gander into our lives a few days ago.
We enjoyed the fresh air of the great outdoors, & the company of some of our dearest friends,
In the comfort of Ethel Ray's cabin.
The time came for us kiddos to have a day on the lake.
We joyously hopped into our life jackets, swim suits, & slicked back the mange we call hair.
First ones out on the tubes were none other than us.
It started out slow.
Calm.
Relaxing.
Exhilarating.
That is until Ethel Ray showed an enthusiastic thumbs up to her grandpa,
Signaling to go faster.
At that very moment Veramitch released the kraken.
Screams loud enough that even a deaf man could hear it.
Straining the ear drums of the mere fishermen on the bay.
Let alone the one on the tube with her....
Everything was kicks & giggles,
Until a swift turn of the boat sent us into the outer abyss of the wake.
Taking us head first into a state of repulsive noises made possible only by pure fear.
After the noises had ceased,
The 3 S's appeared..
Screaming.
Snot.
Saliva.
The screaming happened at the beginning.
Mostly on Vera's behalf,
She started bellowing at the top of her little lungs, not pausing for a breath of air,
& even louder than before.
With the increasing volume,
Each time an octave was raised her hand would grip the next nearest handle on Ethel Ray's side of the tube.
Pushing Ethel right to the edge.
While Vera was cozy in the middle of the large tube.
Due to the screaming & Vera's over active salvific glands,
Ethel Ray was blinded & had no sense of direction.
The saliva & salt water mixture burned her eyeballs, tears streamed down her face.
With the splashing water going into all facial openings.
There was really no stopping at just tears.
Snot.
Snot, had to come out at some point.
The oozing sensation was disgusting.
Predicament arose.
A thought struck.
"If Vera's spit is on my face & in my eyes...I can sure wipe my nose on her arm."
obviously.
The deed was done.
immediately.
This resulted in the bitter end of a long ride.
The snot overwhelmed Vera as she loosed her death grip on the support.
making the off balanced tube even more off balanced than before.
The weight of both of us on the one side forced us into the water.
Smacking the wave.
Nearly loosing consciousness.
We had survived but this was only the first round.
Round 2.
This go around was later in the day.
After the crew had left the lake,
We all wanted a nice leisurely ride down a river.
Nothing to dangerous.
just quality time talking, floating, loving life.
This little ride of ours...
well,
it definitely made us love our lives a little more.
There were 5 of us.
one tube meant for 3 or 4,
the other meant for 1/2 a person.
The seating went,
The 3 boys on the big tube.
Both of us on the wimpy, baby, $5 Wal-Mart brand tube,
meant for half a person...
The boys sailed away with confidence & ease.
Leaving us.
We hoped on in, trying to squeeze our bums into the child sized hole.
it worked!!!
.....For about 6 seconds.....
Then we hit an island of rocks.
That's fine!
we will get it next time.
Next time after next time kept rolling around.
We had done everything in the book,
twice.
& invented new ways to sit 2 grown women in a child's floatation device.
Tipping over.
Practically drowning on every bend.
The boys were no where in sight.
Tree branch after tree branch,
logs & boulders in the river.
We never saw the light of day, it was all darkness.
cold.
wet.
gooey.
Each time we fell over,
our strength left & the raging river sucked us into its grasp.
exhausted,
we finally hit rock bottom.
literally.
there was no return.
the rapids were the last thing that we would remember.
No evidence of our death would be found either...
the waterproof camera was apparently not waterproof.
All images of us were washed away with our piece of mind.
...
Obviously we are exaggerating a bit...
but in all honesty we were absolutely terrified.
We survived,
but the bruises, scrapes & slivers were probably just about as painful as anything.
We are individualists...we do what we want.
Yet terrifying to say the least.
We have dabbled in the waters of death.
{No pun intended.}
Take a gander into our lives a few days ago.
We enjoyed the fresh air of the great outdoors, & the company of some of our dearest friends,
In the comfort of Ethel Ray's cabin.
The time came for us kiddos to have a day on the lake.
We joyously hopped into our life jackets, swim suits, & slicked back the mange we call hair.
First ones out on the tubes were none other than us.
It started out slow.
Calm.
Relaxing.
Exhilarating.
That is until Ethel Ray showed an enthusiastic thumbs up to her grandpa,
Signaling to go faster.
At that very moment Veramitch released the kraken.
Screams loud enough that even a deaf man could hear it.
Straining the ear drums of the mere fishermen on the bay.
Let alone the one on the tube with her....
Everything was kicks & giggles,
Until a swift turn of the boat sent us into the outer abyss of the wake.
Taking us head first into a state of repulsive noises made possible only by pure fear.
After the noises had ceased,
The 3 S's appeared..
Screaming.
Snot.
Saliva.
The screaming happened at the beginning.
Mostly on Vera's behalf,
She started bellowing at the top of her little lungs, not pausing for a breath of air,
& even louder than before.
With the increasing volume,
Each time an octave was raised her hand would grip the next nearest handle on Ethel Ray's side of the tube.
Pushing Ethel right to the edge.
While Vera was cozy in the middle of the large tube.
Due to the screaming & Vera's over active salvific glands,
Ethel Ray was blinded & had no sense of direction.
The saliva & salt water mixture burned her eyeballs, tears streamed down her face.
With the splashing water going into all facial openings.
There was really no stopping at just tears.
Snot.
Snot, had to come out at some point.
The oozing sensation was disgusting.
Predicament arose.
A thought struck.
"If Vera's spit is on my face & in my eyes...I can sure wipe my nose on her arm."
obviously.
The deed was done.
immediately.
This resulted in the bitter end of a long ride.
The snot overwhelmed Vera as she loosed her death grip on the support.
making the off balanced tube even more off balanced than before.
The weight of both of us on the one side forced us into the water.
Smacking the wave.
Nearly loosing consciousness.
We had survived but this was only the first round.
Round 2.
This go around was later in the day.
After the crew had left the lake,
We all wanted a nice leisurely ride down a river.
Nothing to dangerous.
just quality time talking, floating, loving life.
This little ride of ours...
well,
it definitely made us love our lives a little more.
There were 5 of us.
one tube meant for 3 or 4,
the other meant for 1/2 a person.
The seating went,
The 3 boys on the big tube.
Both of us on the wimpy, baby, $5 Wal-Mart brand tube,
meant for half a person...
The boys sailed away with confidence & ease.
Leaving us.
We hoped on in, trying to squeeze our bums into the child sized hole.
it worked!!!
.....For about 6 seconds.....
Then we hit an island of rocks.
That's fine!
we will get it next time.
Next time after next time kept rolling around.
We had done everything in the book,
twice.
& invented new ways to sit 2 grown women in a child's floatation device.
Tipping over.
Practically drowning on every bend.
The boys were no where in sight.
Tree branch after tree branch,
logs & boulders in the river.
We never saw the light of day, it was all darkness.
cold.
wet.
gooey.
Each time we fell over,
our strength left & the raging river sucked us into its grasp.
exhausted,
we finally hit rock bottom.
literally.
there was no return.
the rapids were the last thing that we would remember.
No evidence of our death would be found either...
the waterproof camera was apparently not waterproof.
All images of us were washed away with our piece of mind.
...
Obviously we are exaggerating a bit...
but in all honesty we were absolutely terrified.
We survived,
but the bruises, scrapes & slivers were probably just about as painful as anything.
We are not pansies!
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